My Mother

Monica Barwise 

14 March 2011. It was a public holiday, however I still needed to get up and go to work. As I drove down the road I remembered I had forgotten my mobile phone. Not a huge user I shrugged it off thinking "I probably wont need it". I was wrong.

I had been at work less than an hour when I got a message on my screen saying my sister was on the phone and I may want to take the call. I also had the fellow next to me stand up, at the same time, saying "I have your daughter on the phone". I called Maureen who tells me that the nursing home is trying to get a hold of me, so I called Gary, only to be told "Mum has had another collapse, the ambulance is about to take her to the hospital now and it would be a good idea to come home straight away."
Maureen was going to Ballarat that day to see Mum as she was leaving a few weeks later to go overseas. I called her and told her what I knew so she came and picked me up with Adam and Mabel and we set off back to Ballarat.
When we got to the hospital, Tara was walking along the road with Zali in the pram and Shakira running along beside her, there was no rush. However when we got inside Maureen and I were pulled out the back and told, "We have taken out the incubation tube and she is breathing on her own now, she is comfortable and now it is just time really." Maureen and I took this as positive sign and I expected when we walked in she would be sitting up smiling and saying "Hello". The nurse looked at both of us and remarked, "You do realise she is going to die, she is not going to survive this one?"
I looked at Maureen who looked at me, shocked, she remarked "I didn't expect you to say that!"

They took us into Mum who had an oxygen mask on and was in a coma, although her breathing was a bit laboured, she was comfortable and there was no sign of her being in any sort of pain. We were told that she had scans and to just talk to her. People were in and out, Tara came in, Adam and Mabel came in and Ian (Tara) came in. Then we were trying to work out who had been contacted, who needed to be contacted etc. I was worried for Andrew, he lived at Clunes and we were trying to get hold of him to get in as soon as possible.
Just over an hour after getting to the hospital, we were told that Mum would be moved up stairs. This would be more comfortable for her and the family would all be able to be in there. However as I signed the papers, to allow this, Mum simply stopped breathing and she quietly slipped away.

We spent some time with Mum, and other family members came to say their goodbyes. My five children and all the grandchildren were there at the hospital. Andrew finally got there with a photo of Dad and spent some time with her, saying his goodbyes. None of us was really sure what to do next.

Finally we left the hospital and went and had a coffee and something to eat. We then went to see the funeral director. Margaret was great, explained what needed to be done and what they could do to assist us. There is so much involved in arranging a funeral, Death certificate details to be filled out, who was going to do what, flowers to be arranged, newspaper notices etc etc. For the rest of the week I don't think my phones stopped ringing, both landline and mobile and my head was spinning.
I also put together a DVD of photos of mum from when she was a toddler until her death. http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aEHbCSVA2F0
The Funeral went well with Mum's only sister Pat being present along with three of her daughter's, Sharyn, Julie and Wendy and son Michael coming from Queensland to be there, Sharyn's daughter Nicole and her daughter Bri were also there. Aunty Pauline, mum's sister-in-law was there with her daughter Colleen and husband Paul and also mum's cousin Des and wife Joan.
There were friends and carers also there along with friends of us seven children, friends who had spent time with Mum in one way or another over her years.
We have so many to thank for their support and assistance during this time and many to thank for the care and support they gave Mum, particularly in her final year and months of her life.

Monica with 2 of her g grandsons Lochlan and Jackson 2008

One friend passed on a dream she had the week before Mum's passing and one she had told Mum about. She dreamed she ran into Dad, he was asking her where Mum was as he had not been able to find her, He was told to go over there, that he would find her there. He went off to find her as he had not seen her for some time. A week later mum had gone to join Dad and we believe he had been looking for her and it was her time to go with him.
May you both rest in peace Mum and Dad